Windows
by ArwenLalaith
Summary: Tag to 'Lo-Fi/Mayhem'. A heart-to-heart after a hard case gives them hope and a glimpse of the future. Co-written with Confetti Leaves.


Morgan bit his lip as he watched Emily drop her bag on the floor before walking towards the windows. She had been quiet since they'd left New York, ignoring him entirely. He figured it was just a hard case for her. She almost got shot and ended up having to shoot a young kid. The team almost got blown up in the hospital and it was frightening for the both of them when he drove off in the ambulance with the bomb that could go off any time.

All in all, it was just a really rough case for both of them.

"What is it, Emily?" he sighed softly, hugging her from behind as she looked out the windows. She didn't push him away, that was a good sign. "Don't tell me it's nothing. You've been ignoring me since New York, you wouldn't even look at me."

"Can you blame me?"

"What?"

"What were you thinking driving off in that ambulance with the bomb?" she asked, turning in his arms to look at him pointedly. "What if you didn't get out in time? What if you got hurt? Did you even think about that?"

"I was thinking about you and all the other people who would get hurt if I didn't do something," he said calmly, knowing that the only reason she was angry with him was because she was invested in their relationship. "All the 'what ifs' don't matter because I _did _get out in time and I _didn't _get hurt."

"They _do _matter," Emily insisted, sounding somewhere between angry and close to tears. "It's not like this is something new for you and you're not invincible... Do you know how scared I was?" she asked, tears welling in her eyes. "You didn't get hurt this time, but what if you had? What about next time? How do you expect me to pick up the pieces on my own?"

"Emily..."

"I hate to be the crazy, irrational girlfriend, but I can't help it," she sighed, wiping away the tears with the heel of her hand. "It scares me to think that I could lose you at any time. I know danger is part of the job, but you seem to be in more danger than anyone else most of the time. Tell me, what would I do if something happens to you? What if I'm pregnant, but you're not around? What would I do?"

"What about you?" he asked, "Baby, you almost got shot... You don't think I worry about you too?"

"It's not the same," she insisted, "It's like you go _looking _for danger. I can't lose you! I've never felt like this about anyone – you're the one, I'll never be happy with someone else. But everyday it seems like you find a new way to put yourself at risk...I don't know how much more of it I can take."

Morgan sighed, shutting his eyes and turning away. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I didn't know you felt this way. But you have to know I never meant to do that to you – I know too well what it's like to have a family torn apart because of someone putting themselves in danger. I would never want to put you through that."

"I love you so much, Derek, but you make me so crazy sometimes," Emily whispered tiredly, resting her head on his shoulder.

He was silent for a moment, his brain working a mile a minute. "How would you feel about moving to New York?" he asked suddenly before he knew he was going to speak.

She pulled away from him, a look of confusion and bewilderment on her face. "What?"

He hadn't planned on bringing it up, certainly not yet, but what she'd said had struck a cord. He'd spent most of his life avoiding serious relationships out of a fear of leaving behind a family if something bad happened and Emily was right – lately, he hadn't been as careful as he should be about not taking stupid risks. While he might not have a family yet, it was definitely on the table and there was no way to predict just when his risks would catch up with him. It might not be an ideal solution, but New York offered a way out. "They want me to run the New York field office," he explained, "It would be much safer, I wouldn't be out in the field as much... If you want, I'll take the job and we'll move to New York, start a new life."

Still rather taken aback, she stammered for a moment, finally asking, "When did you find out?"

"Hotch told me on the drive back."

"And what did you tell him?" Her mind was having trouble wrapping around this bombshell.

"I told him I'd think about it," he shrugged, "Because there's no way I'm going unless you're coming with me."

"You would do that for me?" she whispered.

"I'd do anything for you."

"But you love your job in the BAU and you have a life here. You've made a home here," Emily said, looking at him in confusion and shock. "Are you sure you can give up all that?"

"I can make a better home with you in New York and I love you more than the job," he insisted. "I'd miss the BAU, but I'd rather be with you and make you happy. Think about it, we could have a normal life, we'd have time to spend with our kids and it'd be less risky for us."

"You shouldn't have to do that," she sighed. "You shouldn't have to give up what you love for me. You don't like New York that much, do you?" When he remained silent, she got her answer. "Thank you, but we shouldn't move somewhere you hate. I'd hate for you to be miserable. I want you to be happy too."

"I'm happy with you. We could have a family there. We wouldn't have to hide anymore, isn't that good?" he asked, trying to see the positive side of moving to New York with Emily.

"You are a good man," she smiled, kissing him gently. "But let's not be hasty, alright? Can you really see us making New York our home? Can you see yourself running the field office? There's gonna be a lot of paperwork and meetings. God knows, you hate them."

"What should we do?"

"As touched as I am that you'd be willing to just drop everything and move to New York for me," she said softly, kissing him gently, "You and I both know that wouldn't really solve anything. You wouldn't be really be happy and neither would I. As annoying as the team is and as imposing as all the secrecy is on our relationship, they're like a family and we'd miss them." She lightly ran a hand up and down his arm, silently assuring him that she was grateful for his devotion. "For a while, it would be nice, but sooner or later, the novelty would wear off and you'd miss being on the team. I wouldn't want you to resent me for having forced you to give up the life you love."

"That would never happen," he assured, "I _want _to do it for you."

"I know, you'd go to the ends of the Earth if I asked. But _both _of us have to be happy in this relationship and we're happy here – we can make things work here."

"Are you sure, baby?"

"Yes," she smiled, assuring him. "We'll only move when we're both happy with it."

"I love you." He hugged her tightly, gently kissing her ear.

"I love you too, baby," she smiled, relaxing into her boyfriend's embrace. They remained like that for several moments, quietly enjoying being in each other's arms.

"What is it, Em?" he asked quietly when he heard her sigh softly.

"I was just thinking about us..." she replied. He nodded understandingly, waiting for her to continue. "JJ's pregnant and I was just wondering when it would be our turn to be parents."

"Does it bother you that we don't have kids yet?"

Emily bit her lip and sighed. "A little bit, I guess. I mean, we're not getting any younger and there's sort of a window for making babies. I'm just worried that we won't get to be parents. I really want to have your baby."

Morgan grinned brightly, her last statement warming his heart. He never thought that he would ever be this happy to hear a woman say that to him. Ten years ago, he would have ran as fast as he could upon hearing those words. "It's not too late to start trying now," he reasoned, smiling lovingly. "But even if we've passed the baby-making window, we can still be parents. Just because a baby didn't come from us, doesn't mean she can't be our child. I know you want to carry our baby and I'd love that too, but frankly, I don't care how we have our baby as long as I can have her with you."

Tears sparkled in her eyes, but she tried to hide it. "Her?" she asked through a half-sob.

"Oh, we will most definitely have a girl," he said, convinced, "Maybe two or three. Pretty and smart, just like their mom."

She smiled brightly. "You do know that when that happens, your train tackling days are most definitely over."

"That only happened once," he defended with a laugh. "I'll do whatever it takes to make sure my babies have their daddy for a long, long time," he promised.

"I think you're going to be a very good daddy," she smiled, kissing him gently.

He grinned upon hearing her words. "Should we start making our babies now?" he waggled his brows suggestively.

She laughed warmly, resting her forehead against his and gently cupping his cheeks. "Let's," she whispered, before letting their lips meet in a warm and loving kiss.


End file.
